THOMAS AT THE RADIO: Top 10 Current Rap Songs According to Billboard (Part 2)

Oh hi! Thomas from 100 Grand on My Wrist here again. Let's talk about radio rap some more. Just to review real quick, you should listen to rap music on the radio because:
  1. Normal human beings are aware of popular culture.
  2. It slightly increases the chance a female will touch your penis.
  3. No one wants to be lectured about why Prodigy is the greatest MC of all time.
  4. Some of these songs are actually pretty good!
Since my last post just a week ago, the chart has rearranged and I don't know what to do. I just assumed Billboard would remain the same week after week for months on end because I always hear the same damn songs on the radio. Maybe this should be a recurring feature? Lattisaw Tapes is going to have to raise my salary and start flying me out first-class if that's what they want, though. (They aren't matching my 401K right now, the fuck is that about?!?) Anyways, enough about the lavish lifestyle of a rap blogger, let's talk about music on the radio:


5.) "That Way"
I feel this song could have been cool, but the ultra-effeminate voice of Jeremih in the chorus ruins it. His voice kind of grosses me out and makes me feel uncomfortable. I thought that one guy from 112 had the effeminate voice game on lock, but it looks like he has some competition now. The big band sample that opens the track and acts as the bridge to the chorus is great, would have been nice if it were integrated into the beat more prevalently. This song is about having sex with a hot woman, but you can't remember her name and you have a plane to catch (AKA the story of my life). Rick Ross' wardrobe in this video is tight, it reminds me of how my friend's Jewish grandfather dresses, who is also from Florida. So flashy!


4.) "Work Out"
Another song on the top ten list with the lyrical theme of 'I'd love to stay and have sex with you more, but I have a flight to catch'! That's pretty well covered territory in rap music at this point. To be honest, this song is boring as fuck to me. Whenever it comes on the radio I change the station with the quickness. How you gonna swagger jack Paula Abdul in such an uninteresting manner J. Cole?!? The raps aren't bad on this song, just not really my thing, you know? It's good to see that new artists are still are allowed to have hits. Similar to HL, J. Cole is from Fayetteville, so I'm glad he made it out of there and became successful because that place is a fucking dump (I used to live in North Carolina). I would still rather listen to the original Paula Abdul song, plus I thought she was pretty hot back in the day (would still get at today as well, not afraid to admit it).


3.) "She Will"
This song doesn't even have an official music video! Pretty surprising considering it's been on the radio for months now, was at one point the number one rap song in the country, and features two of the biggest names in rap music. I was hoping to make fun of Drake's sweaters in the video or something, but oh well. The beat on this song is great. The moody, distorted violin sample or whatever that is sounds dope, nice to see such a melancholy song reach the top 10. My friend told me this is the best song on Tha Carter IV and I'm going to go ahead and to take him on his word on that one. Lil Wayne's raps are a bit iffy here and if I hear another punchline about Ray Charles being blind I swear to God I'm going to...I probably won't do anything, but that shit's annoying and cliched as fuck. Good song!


2.) "N***as in Paris"
This song doesn't have an official music video either! No worries, here is a video of the duo performing the song live at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on a glitter runway. LOL at Kanye's gay leather pants and fruity jacket, where does he get these clothes? I like this beat a lot, it slaps pretty hard and Jay-Z's raps are on point, but Kanye West completely kills any momentum the song has when he starts rapping/singing. People keep telling me he's a musical genius, but I don't get it, all his dumb punchlines are delivered in a manner that you can almost hear him patting himself on the back when he raps. Never really been a big Jay-Z fan either, but he's talented and I respect what he's done. If this song were a Jay-Z solo track it would be incredible.


1.) "Headlines"
Don't really know how to feel about Drake at this point, it's become so cool to hate on him, I wonder if I should start liking him ironically at this point? Like, there are so many things about him to make fun of, what's the point anymore? Just trying to have a fresh view of pop culture here bros, help me out. The beat on this song is cool, the violins over an 808 drum sounds clean and Drake's raps are alright. He usually comes with a tight line here and there, such as "tuck napkin in my shirt 'cause I'm just mobbin' like that" on this song. Wish he'd rap about something besides himself every once and a while, though. Come to think of it I feel kind of bad for him, because he always seems bummed out and all up in his head. If I were getting pussy and money like Drake is right now I'd walk around with a huge shit-eating grin on my face every day and probably sleep with a huge smile on my face too, but Drake is perpetually burdened by all of his success.

So what does the future hold for commercial rap music? Well I know everyone likes to brag about discovering an artist that they claim is going to be "the next big thing," but ladies and gentlemen I think I have found the next big rapper. He is from Canada as well, just like Drake and his flow is dope, check it out:


He's going to be bringing back that "real hip-hop" in the 2012.

TO BE CONTINUED.....POSSIBLY.....

What do you think of these songs? Does Jeremih's voice make you uncomfortable? Is that J. Cole song boring to you too? Is Kanye West a musical genius? Do you feel bad for Drake? Should this become a recurring feature on Lattisaw Tapes?

12 comments:

  1. Dying @ Thomas shitting on hl's hometown.

    The beat on that Weezy song is nice. Man I wish MMG had more rappers who can do their production justice, theres probably not many labels who'l cough up for Superfly samples for new rappers nowadays.

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  2. ? dunno why I'm signed in as that.

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  3. "No one wants to be lectured about why Prodigy is the greatest MC of all time."

    ^^^^^

    Not cool.

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  4. "No one wants to be lectured about why Prodigy is the greatest MC of all time."

    ^^^^^

    Not cool.

    ^
    SHOTS.

    Nice work, Thomas.

    *daps*

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  5. Been waiting for this...Drake sucks. This should definitely be a regular feature.

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  6. ''People keep telling me he's a musical genius, but I don't get it, all his dumb punchlines are delivered in a manner that you can almost hear him patting himself on the back when he raps.'' < YES.

    Make it a regular feature.

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  7. kanye west is a musical genius, but unfortunately he is a rapping idiot. but really, mike dean is a musical genius, end of story.

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  8. RNC Chairman Michael SteeleDecember 4, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    There are shots fired at hl all over this piece.

    Therefore, I'd like this to be a regular feature.

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  9. The day the blind man comparisons are laid to rest will be a great day for rap music.

    Remember when Kanye West failed out of college and was so self-conscious about it he made an entire album about it?

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  10. About it, about it, about it. Sometimes I write words.

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  11. Great article Thomas, and I'm happy to see there aren't any mad bay n&^*as talkin about how u sold out the town talkin' about these rappin' barbies instead of DA REAL norcal bay rap scene cats!!! ha

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